Merry Christmas and Happy Belated New Year to everyone. Obviously, Christmas cards never did happen this year but I still plan to post some photos on the blog. I don't know if it was the weather being more mild or my lack of motivation, but I never got around to finding the perfect picture.
As for Christmas, everyone had a wonderful time even though it was very different than I had planned. I got very sick prior to Christmas and was unable to celebrate with my family or go to church or do our traditional Christmas celebration with the relatives. Steve and Alyssa did go, though. Tyler stayed home and took care of me. We all enjoyed our gifts. GiveForward (http://www.giveforward.com/wecareforkim) sent us a box containing a gift for everyone in the family -- things like a scooter, video game, and a Live Love Laugh cross, which I love.
We had a wonderful New Year's Eve with my great neighbors. As for New Year's resolutions, I decided I want to eat more nutritiously and focus more on a healthier lifestyle. In addition, one of my neighbors asked me to join a Bible study group so I committed to starting a more spiritual life as well.
As for my health, I did have my brain and spinal MRI scans and will finally be seeing the neurosurgeon tomorrow. I'd been waiting for nearly six months. I don't anticipate anything major but I do know I have some pinched nerve or disc pinching causing me to have pain in my upper arms, like deep bone pain. Hopefully there's some sort of steroid injection I can take to relieve this pressure because I refuse to have any more surgery after my last bout with infections.
In addition, I saw the eye doctor, Jack Cohen, who has still no answers for me at all. He said he plans to go to a conference this spring to see if there is anything new on the forefront to treat optic nerve tumors. As for now, in all the research I've done, everything has failed or caused further vision problems or blindness. The scariest thing is my tumor continues to grow at a slow rate, yet my vision seems to be worsening. I see very grainy, like Seurat's paintings with dots. All my colors look the same, which drives me crazy. As you lose your vision, it's irreparable according to the doctors. My biggest fear is blindness.
I need to make a trip to the vision specialist to get another pair of stronger-magnification prescription glasses. Most of you use readers like 1.5 or 2.0, but I'm up to 8.0. In addition to the 8.0s, I still use a handheld magnifier to further assist in reading print. I can't stand it, although I do have to count my blessings that technology has made available the Mac computer and the Acrobat (a machine that blows up my print). Without these I would be lost from seeing any print materials.
Besides having bad vision, I get less light in, and the winter, even though it hasn't been snowy, really seems to affect my mood. Whether it be the shorter days with more darkness, or the days are darker and drearier, I feel that this year I've dropped off the face of the earth and haven't talked to anybody for ages. It's been a very depressing time and I'm sorry for not reaching out to people in the past few months, but I haven't connected with anyone really. Hopefully spring and the sunnier days ahead will help.
Still, my greatest joy is going to the movies with a big screen, and I've been listening to many books on tape as I've always been an avid reader.
In January, I noticed an unusual skin spot on my right calf, which turned out to be squamous cell, and I had that removed with Mohs surgery. In addition, I did blue-light treatment on some dry, precancerous areas on my face, and now my skin looks awesome. At my followup appointment, my doctor said she wants me to do the treatment on precancerous areas on my arms and chest too, as it worked so well on my face. Although it's painful, it's worth the result. I plan to take care of this before spring.
As you can see, January was a very busy, stressful month, but the biggest stress was when Steve lost his job mid-January. The worst of this is not just financial, but it is medically burdensome as well from an insurance standpoint. We took out a Cobra plan from the company and the premiums for coverage are very high, so in addition I tried to apply for Medicare. I was denied because open enrollment ended January 1st and the next enrollment is June 1st. We missed the cut-off by two weeks and have been arguing with the Springfield Medicare office because this was a life-changing event that occurred, and we feel it should be reevaluated. So far, all we've heard is "No." The downside is, now that I've applied, they consider Medicare my primary insurance (which makes no sense to me since I was denied) and I have to pay out-of-pocket unless I'm hospitalized. Doesn't this seem crazy?
So, thank goodness for all of the donations from the GiveForward fundraiser (http://www.giveforward.com/wecareforkim), which ends on March 17. Thank you to all of you who have donated and shared the link with your friends. Say your prayers that Steve finds employment soon so that this whole issue will be resolved. Anybody who has connections in the medical sales field, please let us know.
Prior to our insurance ending on January 31, I was unable to get my appointment in for a followup MRI to my kidney or a visit to a transplant coordinator. Hopefully, if Medicare reconsiders, I will do these visits sooner rather than later, because MRIs cost $3,000-4,000.
On the bright side, at the end of January we had our second annual DZ reunion. It was great to get out and enjoy the night with all my close friends and "cheerleading squad," including DiTy, Lori, Carrie, Karen, Nancy A., Nancy T., Patti and all the others who attended.
I haven't been doing so well with my nutritional eating, but on the spiritual side of life, things have been very rewarding. I just completed a six-week Bible study and start another six-week session this Wednesday. I met a wonderful group of women who are also new to studying the Bible. Besides learning much, I have found this to be a very peaceful and meaningful time. This past weekend I attended a Women in Christ spa retreat in Lake Forest. It was a very wonderful experience. My new friend Gail, one of the Bible class facilitators, says nothing happens by chance with God; when you pray and ask Him for help, He really does answer your prayers. He will work through you in your life and what you do, and you sometimes have to look outside the box for the answers. Thank you Gail for your friendship, prayers and a wonderful weekend. In addition, Gail plans to hook me up with some miracle healers she knows.
Since January, I have been meeting people who I believe I was truly meant to cross paths with. Not only have I been able to help them with their medical crises, but I have found that it has been rewarding to be able to help others again as the nurse in me has been dormant for years. One such girl has lymphoma of the eyes and we plan to somehow work together to support others going through similar circumstances, as the doctors rarely give you the right resources, e.g. transportation, social security benefits, websites, clinical trials, support groups, etc. As for now, it is just an idea, but I can see this turning into something as a sort of web-based resource for physician referrals. Maybe this is why I've had these trials, because maybe this is my true calling.
As for the kids, Tyler made the Honor Roll last semester and now we have a sticker for the car. He's still on indoor travel soccer three days a week. Alyssa does Brownies, jazz, tap and basketball, and she does very well in school as well. It seems like Steve is working harder looking for a job than he did when he had a job. Rather than the usual stay-home for spring break, Steve and Tyler will be traveling for several days to look at colleges with Tyler's friend. Hopefully this will get Tyler more excited about his future, because right now he has no interest and doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up. As for me, I'm looking forward to watching the Oscars tonight at my neighbor's annual Red Carpet Night.
Wishing you all the best in your lives and spring break travels. I'll try to be a better friend and hope to see you all more often. At least I didn't wait so long to post this time.
